Hetalia Gear
by redbattler917K
Summary: What happens when the Top Gear hosts invite the nations to do a few challenges to see which country makes the best. Will James see a Dacia Sandero ever again? Find out in this crossover of APH and Top Gear. Rated T.
1. The News

Jeremy: Alright, it's time to do the news, and first off, a man said to a French guy, that, he had no French cars being built because he spends his time, proposing to random schoolgirls.

James: Wait. Did you say that man thinks the French don't build cars for murderers, such as the Renault Espace, and Renault 16. Maybe not in Paris where all lovers go have a crisis in public.

Richard: Do you really have to bring that up in public, I mean, there could be kids watching thinking, I want to start a crisis with hot schoolgirls.

Jeremy: What's with you and young schoolgirls Richard. Anyways, the guy who said this was not Boris Johnson, but it was actually Arthur Kirkland.

Richard: Who?

Jeremy: Arthur Kirkland. The one guy with the bushy eyebrows, which everybody calls England because he represents this country.

James: You mean when he goes to meetings with France, America, Italy, Germany, Russia the Rapist, Japan, Greece, Spa-.

Richard: I thinks that's enough of these countries. Besides, we are getting off topic.

Jeremy: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's invite these guys to see which countries cars are better, and we will be the judges. We will set up challenges for these warheads of World War II, see who gets the most points!

James: Great news! The Dacia Duster is here in our studio, because Dacia wants me to test it out after the news.

Jeremy: Great!

Richard: Alright, time to talk about the Geneva Motor Show. Jeremy, you are going to love this. Alfa Romeo has released a follow up model for the 8C, here it is.

Jeremy: Wh-a-at is that supposed to be.

Richard: It's the new 4C. Beautiful, ain't it.

Jeremy: What have they done to it, it is ugly, it's not art at all. If they told me to drive that, I would rather drive a Prius.

James: Or a Sandero, of course.

Richard: Fine, whatever you say. I don't think it's ugly because Alfa Romeo can't make ugly cars. We should thank Italy for making a car like this.


	2. When they are watching

(Germany walks into Italy's House, only to find all of the countries watching the TV)

Germany: What are you all doing here?

England: Oh Germany, you just came in time! Top Gear is about to start.

Germany: Wha-

Italy: Have a seat right by me. But hurry up, the show is about to start.

Romania: I wonder where they are going to be? I hope they visit my country.

Hungary: 50 euros says they don't.

Romania: You're on!

America: Shhh, they are going to announce what they are going to do.

Jeremy: Tonight on Top Gear, I get stuck in the backseat of an Aston Martin, James sees a Dacia, and Richard has trouble with Bluetooth.

Romania: Ha, you owe me 50 euros because he said Dacia, which comes from Romania. And the countryside looked liked Romania.

Hungary: Whatever, take your money. Go buy yourself some fangs.

Italy: Guys, they are going to mention England and France.

England: Huh?

France: What did you say?

Italy: I said they are going to mention you two on the news, ve~.

England: Bloody shut up everyone! They are going to mention us!

Jeremy: Arthur Kirkland, the one with the bushy eyebrows, which everybody calls because he represents this country.

James: You mean when he goes to meetings with France, Spain, Greece, Russia the Rapist, Japan, Aus-.

Richard: I think that is enough.

There was a short moment of silence in the nations.

Russia: !

Latvia: You're not a rapist, Russia.

Austria: How dare that short man cut him off right when he was about to call out my name.

Italy: Veh~, he thanks me for building a car.

England: Bushy eyebrows is not nice.

America: That is true Iggy.

England: Oh shut up you git! I heard him say stuff about your country!

And then everybody started to fight.

Germany: *sigh* I can't even hear the TV.

Italy: GERMANY LOOK! THEY HAVE INVITED US TO BE ON THEIR PROGRAM!

Germany: Huh? Oh, ok. EVERYBODY SHUT UP!

England & France: Germany!

Germany: Italy just informed me that they have decided to invite us on Top Gear so they can see who has the best cars. I'll decide on what prize you will get if you win.

Japan: I never knew you decide so quickly, Germany-san.

Russia: Are you sure, because I don't want to be insulted in front of a million viewers who will laugh at me and then I'll never have my cruelness ever again.

The Baltics: *tremble* We agree.

(At the Studio)

James: Uh, Jeremy?

Jeremy: Yes?

James: Were you serious about putting the representatives on our show?

Jeremy: At that time I was only kidding, but now that I think of it, yes, I am serious.

James: Let's just hope are studio doesn't get destroyed by that Russian.

Jeremy: And also hope that Arthur wins the competition so we get the title of best cars in the world.


	3. Start Of The Series Of Challenges

**A/N: hello everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a YEAR! I know, really longtime and the reason for that is the other two stories that I'm too lazy to finish and the fact I gave up on this. But after seeing that there are some people waiting for an update, I decided to just go with the flow. Yay for everyone I guess. Without further ado, please welcome the new chapter.**

(Top Gear opening sequence)

Jeremy Clarkson (VO): Tonight, a tall man blows up a Morris Marina.

(Tall man in a coat magically blows up the car)

Jeremy Clarkson (VO): Richard eats some pasta.

(Richard Hammond is choking on the pasta)

Jeremy Clarkson (VO): And a Scandinavian is in our Reasonably Priced Car.

(The Scandinavian turns the wheel of the KIA Cee'd)

Jeremy Clarkson: Hello everybody and welcome to a brand new episode of Top Gear! Tonight, we are going to see which country makes the best cars, by handing them over to representatives of the countries.

James May: Yes, and it's not just how fast they are or how much they can hurt your testicles.

Audience: *laughs*

James May: Its durability looks, seeing if they can survive a Hammond organ falling on the car, and all the stuff we don't usually do on the program.

Jeremy Clarkson: Yes yes yes James, that is all very interesting. We should actually move on to the actual film instead of looking at your shoes.

(Screen cuts to the Top Gear Test Track, where the three presenters are standing like you would usually see them when they are at the track)

Jeremy Clarkson: I know we should done it somewhere else like Leicester or the Nardo Ring in Italy, but our track is the ideal place for this sort of thing, which we don't really that often.

Richard Hammond: So, we must meet our countries or representatives if you like it that way, and here they are.

James May: They may not have the outline, but they do have the looks of their country. Right here we have Alfred F. Jones representing the USA.

Alfred: Yeah, we're going to kick some ass today!

Richard: Yeah, right. Over here is Kiku Honda from the nation of Japan.

Kiku: How are you today?

Richard: Fine, thank you. Um….. Then comes *tremble* Ivan Braginski from Russia. *whispers* don't give him time to talk, alright?

Jeremy: Then we have Italy, Germany, and France.

Feliciano: PASTAAAA!

Ludwig: Guten tag soldier.

Francis: Isn't my manufacturing lovely, non?

James: And we have the fastest progressing manufacturing country, Wang Yao or also known as China.

Wang: Should I make you a car, or some shoes?

James: Well you don't have to do that- wow. That was quick!

(The camera points to some shoes by a generic version of a Rolls-Royce)

Richard: And we have our own Arthur Kirkland of the United Kingdom.

Arthur: I'm going to get revenge on Alfred for the American Revolution times.

Jeremy: Okay, we have more but the program isn't long enough to introduce them all, so we're going to get started.

James: Now each representative has to have five people from their nation to be on their team. We three and the Stig will be with England, while the U.S. will have our U.S. counterpart of Top Gear. Team Germany will have D MOTOR, when Italy has some test drivers.

Richard: Japan will have Hatsune Miku, a pair of twins and a Toyota test driver, when China uses two martial artists, and Stig's Chinese cousin.

Jeremy: Russia will have Vodkaholics that are mostly Communist and France will have some accordion players.

Jeremy (VO): Now all we had to do was round up all of the nations to give them the first challenge, so I got a megaphone and sparkler that one of the Americans had.

Jeremy (MP): Everyone listen here! Your first challenge will be practicality. You most load up your native SUV's as fast as you can, but you have to also have the most amount of items then everyone else to win.

Arthur: So we basically have to have the biggest car to win this challenge?

Richard: Yeah, that's the most simplified version of it.

James: Or small items if you want to risk bonus points for fastest time.

Alfred: I can just fill up my Ford with cheeseburgers! Better not eat them.

Arthur: Oh joy, how I can use my delicious scones to weigh down the Range Rover.

Alfred: No one would like to have scones in their mouth that taste like ass.

Arthur: You shut up you wanker! They taste better than that shit you eat every day!

Jeremy (MP): *clears throat* But first, you must run from the Top Gear grocery store which is right in front of the studio as you can see over there and push a bunch of carts of your items into the car and drive quarter of a mile down the runway.

Arthur: Hah, you're too fat to even run a meter!

Alfred: Oh yeah! Well my SUV is bigger than yours, so I win!

Kiku: They are both the same size.

Alfred & Arthur: Shut up!

James May: Everyone redirect to the store for the challenge. You will be disqualified if you're not there when the flag goes down. This is not the time for cocking about gentlemen.

Richard: Just look at James trying to order everyone around.

Jeremy: It's just too complicated for me to follow, heh heh.

Flagman: C'mon Team England and America! You'll miss your first win of the day.

(When everyone is on the start line and ready to go)

Flagman: Ready? Three, Two, One, Go!

**A/N: Sorry, but I just have to make it a cliffhanger on how this will go. It's not the best of stories, but I'm trying my best here. **

**Romania: When will I show Hungary that I'm better?**

**Redbattler: Soon my friend, soon.**


End file.
